Come Pride Month and we have much-needed conversations about the LGBTQIA+ community. Books, movies, and series. You are sure to have come across recommendations to increase your awareness about the community, support it as an ally, or understand your own sexuality.
One sexual orientation continues to be ignored. So much so that many do not even consider it real. Labeling it a phase or just being too prude. Asexuality. Truly an invisible sexual orientation.
What is Asexuality
Before we get to the books, let’s begin by understanding what asexuality or being an asexual is. A person who hates sex? You couldn’t be further from the truth.
Simply defined, an asexual (ace) is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. In LGBTQIA+, the A denotes the asexual spectrum or a-spec. Invisibility works here as well, some consider it to be Allies instead.
Asexuality is not a one-size-fits-all but a spectrum. Some asexuals might be romantically attracted, might choose to be sexually active, and have a spouse and kids. Often confused with celibacy, it is the lack of sexual attraction and not the lack of sexual behavior.
I have previously discussed what exactly is asexuality, the asexuality spectrum, and the popular misconceptions about it. Do give it a read to understand the representations discussed in the book recommendations better. I have also shared a list of non-fiction book recommendations that are a must-read.
Two years hence and yet there is barely any media representation of asexuality in India. I haven’t been able to find a single Indian book on aces yet. We do have asexuals in India and two vibrant online communities. I hope the members and authors come forward to share their experiences.
Book Recommendations
Now that we have understood what asexuality is, I share with you a list of books exploring the diverse ace spectrum. Non-fiction books to educate yourself. Fiction books because we do need more ace representation in literature. Contemporary fiction. Young Adult fiction. Adult MM romance. Short story anthology. Graphic novel. There is something for everyone.
Never been in love, never had a crush, never been kissed. But a fanfic-obsessed romantic sure to meet the one someday. The pressure to fit into the societal parameters. A plan to find love gone wrong.
Loveless is a warm, witty, coming-out story of an 18-year-old aromantic asexual. A book that celebrates diverse forms of love and exemplifies that true love isn’t limited to romance.
If you are looking for the fiction read that best represents (but is not limited to) asexuality, do pick up the book.
“What made sex so integral that people couldn’t separate the emotional love they felt from one physical act?”
Let’s Talk About Love is a coming-of-age story of a 19-year-old biromantic, asexual, black girl. Unlike most books where the character is written as asexual and limited at that, the book explores what it means to be asexual in a hyper-sexualized world. Navigating relationships or dealing with queerphobia and racism.
It is also a love story and a story about friendships. A book that gets the representations right. Be it sexuality or race. Main or side characters.
Sexuality and romantic love have come to be seen as organic, universal impulses every human has. No wonder asexuality and its spectrum are met with disbelief.
Drawing from interviews with members of the a-spec community, Ace Voices explores what it means to be on the asexuality spectrum. Providing valuable insights, support, and information for a-spec people, their families and friends.
The book discusses fluid identities, relationships, family, community, disability, and mental health. Not to be confused with an anthology of personal stories, the author takes you on an empowering and enriching journey. Truly a love letter to the ace community.
“Am I Asexual?” True to its name, I Am Ace is an advice book for asexual teens. A guide for young asexuals or those questioning to understand asexuality as an identity and the spectrum.
Divided into three sections – Asexuality and You, Asexuality and Others, and Asexuality and the World – the book encourages asking questions. Tackling basic queries often faced at the start of the journey including how to come out as an asexual, dealing with microaggression, and finding Ace Joy.
Aces Wild: A Heist is about an all-asexual online friend group. Jack, the son of a Las Vegas casino mogul, needs to get even with his mom’s rival for selling her out to the cops. He hatches a plan to infiltrate a high-stakes gambling club with his friends. Gathering enough information to bring him down.
Consider it an Oceans 11 with a-spec teenagers, complete with the shenanigans. All the while navigating love and asexuality. Not exactly a heist per se, it is a quick fun read.
A-spec representation in a romance novel. Because asexuals are not always aromantics.
Upside Down is about two gay asexual men. Jordan, a 26-year-old socially awkward librarian, coming to terms with his asexuality. Hennessy, a sex-positive asexual determined to stay true to himself despite failed relationships.
A few educational speeches aside (can be preachy at times), it is a light, funny, heartwarming love story with adorable characters.
An anthology of ace-spec stories written by ace-spec authors. Celebrating asexuality in all its forms.
Being Ace is a collection of 14 YA short stories across the asexual spectrum and genres. Asexual romance, aromantic love, sci-fi, fantasy, contemporary fiction, it has it all. Witches, slayers, asteroid miners, mermaids, and more.
A word of caution. Some stories might be triggering.
Acefluxes, arospikes, demis, greys, frays. If the labels confuse you, pick this 87-page primer to asexuality and aromanticism.
Beautifully illustrated and packed with quizzes and activity sheets, Amazing Ace, Awesome Aro is a short and crisp introduction to the a-spec community busting the myths and misconceptions. Targeted at both asexuals and allies alike, it also includes tips to deal with acephobia and arophobia, recognizing prejudice and discrimination.
Understanding and embracing asexuality is crucial for a more inclusive and diverse world. Books are often the best tool to educate ourselves. Here’s to more a-spec representation. Quoting Angela Chen, the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, And The Meaning Of Sex.
“If aces make a big deal out of being ace and demand to be recognized, if we have created groups of our own, it is because we want a place away from sexual pressure. If we fight for visibility and change, it is because we want that pressure to be lifted for others too.”
Do you have book recommendations for me on asexuality? Do share about them in the comments below.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Zariya Healings.
This post is a part of ‘Out and About Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed.
I’m participating in the #TBRChallenge by Blogchatter.
Photo credit: Canva.com
June 14, 2024 @ 12:06 pm
I recall you writing on this topic a while ago. Never knew there were so many books on this too. Interesting!
June 17, 2024 @ 3:29 pm
This is a totally new area or genre for me. I must explore this further. Glad you drew attention to this.
June 17, 2024 @ 7:12 am
I have never been comfortable with LGBTQ+, not a phobia but the comfort isn’t there. However, in the world that we live in where inclusiveness is the key to a peaceful society, these books make a lot of difference. Loce is beyond the bed, the physical and should be given that space and books make a difference.
June 21, 2024 @ 3:26 pm
I remember your post on this topic Ritu and I had loved it as it was really informative for me. I learnt so much from that post and now I can see that there are books that one can learn from. I hope there is more noise about asexuality in the coming years so that the awareness increases.
June 17, 2024 @ 3:28 pm
This is a totally new area or genre for me. I must explore this further. Glad you drew attention to this.
June 18, 2024 @ 3:26 pm
I have read few books only in queer literature, and your list is totally unknown to me. I believe I have to read more of it to know more about LGBTQIA+. Thanks for sharing this.
June 18, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
LGBTQ is not a subject or a genre I am interested or even wish to read. What I strongly believe is that just like any male, female,hermaphrodite- homosexuality, Bisexuality… asexuality is just another segment or way of the sexual needs or preferences. We all have a heart that beats, we all have red blood running in our veins and we have different mode of expressing self ….. Is there really any need to create a genre for LGBTQ or to celebrate a pride month? In short we all are humans then why this segregation and In feel such celebrations and genres are making them stand different in the society or to look at a different way towards them. My question is WHY?
June 18, 2024 @ 5:23 pm
LGBTQ is not a subject or a genre I am interested or even wish to read. What I strongly believe is that just like any male, female,hermaphrodite- homosexuality, Bisexuality… asexuality is just another segment or way of the sexual needs or preferences. We all have a heart that beats, we all have red blood running in our veins and we have different mode of expressing self ….. Is there really any need to create a genre for LGBTQ or to celebrate a pride month? In short we all are humans then why this segregation and I feel such celebrations and genres are making them stand different in the society or to look at a different way towards them. My question is WHY?
June 19, 2024 @ 2:58 pm
What a wonderfully insightful post! Understanding and representing asexuality is crucial for fostering inclusivity. The list of books provided is diverse and comprehensive, offering valuable perspectives on the ace spectrum. I particularly appreciate the inclusion of both fiction and non-fiction works, ensuring a well-rounded understanding. “Loveless” and “Let’s Talk About Love” sound especially intriguing. Thank you for shedding light on this often overlooked orientation. Looking forward to exploring these reads!
June 19, 2024 @ 3:24 pm
A few of the books you mentioned are in my TBR. I think ace books is a section that I have least explored. A timely reminder that identities are always a spectrum and its okay to fall wherever you feel most comfortable.
June 20, 2024 @ 4:47 pm
You have touched a very important topic. People seem to be familiar with bi and homo but asexuality very less. Good to know about these books.
June 19, 2024 @ 10:25 pm
I have read your previous blog on asexuality. But never knew there were so many books written on the subject. You have shared such a comprehensive list of books, Ritu. I am tempted to get my hands on a few of these.
June 20, 2024 @ 12:07 am
Asexual… I think I didn’t have such deep knowledge regarding this topic. This is totally new world for me. Your books recommendations are intresting. Definitely will dive in this new world. Thank you Ritu.
June 20, 2024 @ 10:29 am
I knew about asexuality but believed it to be “the disinterest in sex.” Thank you for correcting me with your insightful blog, and it’s amazing that this topic could already have so many books! Wow, really proud of the open, internet world we live in. This is true freedom. To get ample information to understand oneself and have the freedom to choose the best for oneself, without of course, trampling on someone else’s freedom to do the same.
June 20, 2024 @ 9:43 pm
I am completely clueless regarding these books or subjects. Hence, this was indeed a revelation to me. Thanks for writing this
June 21, 2024 @ 10:23 am
You’re right in saying that asexuality isn’t represented enough in literature. People understand and find anything palatable when it’s through fiction and I hope it happens more going ahead. Good recommendations here. I Am Ace sounds good.
June 21, 2024 @ 5:40 pm
There are so many things we don’t know about the LGBT community. These books help us understand them. Everyone has a right to live the way they want
June 21, 2024 @ 7:40 pm
I’ll be honest, Ritu. I first went and read your older post on understanding asexuality. Not only o educate myself but also to be able to understand and judge this one better and what an outstanding job you’ve done with this listicle, by pointing out how and what each book talks about asexuality. It saddens me not even one Indian book/author exists in this genre. Thank you for talking about doubly-ignored sexuality, firstly by being in the LGBTQA+ spectrum and then again being probably the most overlooked/not-spoken-about one in that community as well.
I’m definitely reading at least a couple of books from these ones to improve my understanding of asexuality
June 21, 2024 @ 9:20 pm
Thanks for this recommendation, Ritu. I’m living with one, so I understand the pain. I was looking for books to understand their side of the story too. Can’t thank you enough.
June 21, 2024 @ 9:25 pm
It’s sad to see that there are no Indian books on asexuality yet, but I hope that changes soon. “Ace Voices” by Eris Young seems like an essential read for anyone wanting to understand the asexual spectrum better. I love that it includes interviews and personal insights.
June 21, 2024 @ 11:14 pm
Good to see your book recommendations to understand the story of asexual people. It will take time to accept people with different sexual needs. Literature and art can accelerate progress.